Ho Ho Potatoes. Oh this is so much better than a card.


Here is a large, jolly, sexy potato, with a carefully inscribed custom message and a cute festive Santa hat. The perfect Christmas gift under £10!


All handsome potatoes are sent in a protective box and packaging. Further spud-tacular gift wrap options can be chosen during check out.


If you're worried your potato may be lonely - fret not! You can add the following to your glorious parcel to make it really spud-cial and access free postage!

  • A pair of hilariously dodgy Christmas socks
  • A butterfly that explodes out upon opening
  • The World's smallest bottle of whisky for festive cheer

Struggling for witty message ideas? Here's a few of our favourites...

  • Better than nothing
  • Merry Christmas you big, bald twat
  • Happy birthday Jesus
  • Sorry - I'm broke
  • Merry Xmash!
  • You have everything else
  • This is the jacket you wanted, right?


Xmas Socks (add £2.99)
Add Exploding Butterfly Inside (£1.99)
Add world's smallest bottle of whisky? (£2.99)
Box Sticker (Free)
Dispatch Time
  • Delivery:

    If you would like your parcel sent ASAP, please select 'Dispatch ASAP' when adding to your cart.

    If you would prefer to have your glorious gift dispatched closer to Christmas day, and delivered 1-5 days before the Dec 25th. Please select 'In time for Crisp-mash'.


    You can choose to have a free, small sticker on top of the box saying 'Don't Open Until Christmas' or 'From Secret Santa'. Otherwise opt for no sticker at all! You will be prompted to choose when adding to the cart.

    Please see the Crisp-mash deadline section on our website for further information about cut off times.