Greetings Spud Muffin
Hello sweet potato, has anyone told you recently that you're a s-mash-ing human? If not, please let us know and we will throw potatoes at people in your honour.
At Text-A-Potato's headquarters we spend hours gazing lovingly at our handsome potatoes. Just look at our spuds, LOOK. Aren't they magnificent? Glorious? Sexy? Perfect? Yes, they certainly are! It's time we shared these majestic beings with all of our best-spuds (you), it's time to send personalised potatoes in the post.
Sending an anonymous potato in the mail is a guaranteed way to ensure your superiority, and cement your status as the alpha dog in your family, friendship group or work place. It will inevitably prove that you are an exceptionally outstanding individual. Congratupotatolations.
If you need any help sending, or deciding which potato gift suits you feel free to contact our spuddies at firstname.lastname@example.org